More and more couples are divorcing at an older age. Why do people decide to divorce after many years of marriage? Psychologists and sociologists have different hypotheses about why this happens.
Divorce after marriage. The news that Bill and Melinda Gates are divorcing after 27 years of marriage shocked the world. This couple seems to be a symbol of marital stability and longevity. Together they raised three children, made a fortune, and founded the prestigious Humane Society. However, like them, there are many lesser-known couples, our neighbors or relatives.
What the Divorce Statistics Say
Statistics show that more than a quarter of divorcees in the United States are over the age of 50, and more than half of these divorces occur after 20 years of marriage. In my country, the average age of spouses at the time of divorce last year was 43.6 for men and 40 for women. Married life lasts an average of 9.5 years. In the second half of life, there are definitely things that happen between people and they reconsider the choices they made earlier. There are a number of factors that cause more older couples to divorce today than in previous generations.
Divorce after marriage. reason for breaking up
One reason may be that the meaning of marriage has changed. People no longer primarily need financial security and mutual assistance, but a happy relationship that contributes to self-actualization. Additionally, more and more women are becoming financially independent. Therefore, they will not stay in a marriage that is not satisfactory to them because they have no other way out.
After all, divorce in old age may be more common than at any point in history, for one simple reason: People are living longer. Just when you think you might have 20 to 30 years to live, you realize you can spend a lot of time with people you’re no longer happy with. At the same time, fewer and fewer people are willing to work hard for “shaky” marriages. They thought that swapping partners with someone else might be the most convenient solution.
Why Some People Delay Divorce
Why do some people decide to divorce after many years of marriage? Psychotherapist Tedy Creştin notes: “Sometimes a couple doesn’t get along well for a long time and the problems accumulate, but the partner still benefits from the relationship and doesn’t give up. In some cases, his partner There was a certain fear and apprehension about being alone or finding another partner. Maybe he just felt bad, that the known was better than the unknown.” So, after years of living together, the divorce came to fruition.
Divorce after many years of marriage due to problems
“Other times, couples’ problems build up over time, only to erupt due to a small misunderstanding or some other big issue. It doesn’t matter what triggers the desire for divorce, it depends on the relationship with the couple. What the passage of time actually builds. We often see endless fights stemming from a small trigger point, but partners bring up conflicts that have not been resolved for years, a sign that they are alive and present in the partner. These issues have It builds up for years, sometimes decades, and doesn’t get resolved in days or weeks,” the expert observed.
Time to think
“Before taking the step of divorce after many years of marriage, it can be helpful for partners to begin couples therapy or a recovery process that involves personal development. Higher levels of understanding, acceptance, empathy and compassion will help resolve issues. Very important What matters is how motivated they are to try to resolve their conflicts, and how aware they are that they have to make an effort and make a change.
Couples therapy doesn’t guarantee that the spouses will stay together, but it certainly has a better chance than no therapy. Additionally, partners will be able to learn more about themselves, their current relationship, what they really want and what is best for them. If they decide to divorce at the same time, it may be as amicable as possible,” says psychotherapist ..